Reading
through the things I’ve written these last few years I see such huge growth
I’m so
honored and humbled by his love
To
finally know
Really
know
Brings
tears to my eyes
It’s
overwhelming to be so loved...
And the
amazing thing is that I feel so secure in it
It’s not
like anything I’ve ever experienced before
Part of
me fears losing it because nothing else has ever been this good.
But
that's just the thing, I know I can't
It’s not
fleeting like every other good thing I’ve ever had in my life.
I have
to learn to rest in it. I am learning to trust this connection with God
more and more.
I’ve
never been able to do that before
BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD Psalm 46:10
It makes
me look at my life differently.
Personal
battles that have long plagued me...my weight and the way I look have bothered
me.
I want
to do something, whatever it takes. My health, knowing that I’m the place
where His love resides could burden me with the weight of guilt like it has for
years, without the solid connection of knowing that love.
And I
could run ahead and work on me. I could do what I’ve always done with my
stubborn strength.
But I
have to wait...
Because
the problem, contrary to popular opinion, is not as simple as over eating and
under exercising: The problem is being out of balance.
We are
spiritual beings, physical follows spiritual.
I’m
growing spiritually.
I’ve
been anemic in my connection with God and the love that is available to me.
So I’ve
got to give myself time to allow my physical forms to align with the spiritual
connection, with my heart. My heart was so wounded that my body could not
overcome the pain and be whole. My spirit had to be healed; my heart had
to be open to that healing. My soul – heart and spirit – connected to
Jesus made the difference, allowing the love to penetrate, finally.
It’s
funny to think that all these years as a believer, my heart was not connected
I was
connected, but not via my heart because my heart was not open. The
wonderful thing though, is that he was with me. He is faithful, so faithful.
So all
along he was there, waiting patiently until I let him in where he needed to be
in order for me to be who I truly am. In order to be healed and whole.
And now,
now it’s so utterly different.
This is
more solid than anything has ever been, more true
I know I
can stand on it
So why
do I still indulge in over eating or whatever?
Maybe
it’s old habits?
Or not
listening to that voice
But he
is so patient
My flesh
has been used to getting its way
Paul
said it like this: Now if
I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin
living in me that does it. Romans 7:20
His
explanation sounded so legalistic to me
Yet now
I understand.
The
voice of love from my heart is so soft and humble that my screaming flesh
drowns it out if I am not listening.
I think
that it's a matter of me focusing on the right voice: learning discerning
staying in the connection.
So my
job is not to work on me, it's to work on listening, hearing Jesus voice better
I want
to hear it
I want
to know this love, more and more.
I want
to live in it
And
nothing I do externally can make that happen for me
I’ve
conquered that fleshly kind of thing before over and over with sheer will
power, and believe me; I have a very strong will.
But it
does not last because of where it is built from.
It’s not
built on the security of love
And so
it's worthless..... as is everything else built from anything other than that
connection, that love.
There
are people dropping like flies, going to hell at breakneck speed because they
find no hope.
No hope
in life, no hope for their wounded hearts.
That -
right there - is the reason for the 'great commission'.
To go into
the world and tell everyone – it's to tell them that there is hope.
Love is
available. Their hearts can be healed
It is
not difficult to share this love with those who are hungry.
It’s not
a chore. And it’s not an invitation to bondage.
It truly
is the good news, the answer, the way, the truth, the light to our paths.
Jesus is
love walking.
Whoever
does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:8
We need
to get out of our heads and open our hearts to be free.
Truth is
freedom.
Love is
Truth.
Just
like the Trinity
Faith,
Hope, and Love – these three remain. But the greatest of these is Love.
You
think maybe Paul was on to something here?????
Synonyms
for the name God:
Love
Jesus
Truth
Hope
Light
Freedom
Life
Peace
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