Gomer
I come from a barren place
A land swallowed up in dry desert
With little water or such to scratch out a living
My heart had dreamed of a day I would be rescued
But the labor of my day was not the problem
It was my dreams
My desires
Unable to be fulfilled here
It was a life without hope
And I rebelled within.
Then somewhere along the way
I found myself betrothed
It was to a man of good repute.
A Godly man from a far off country
My family was poor and I was not lovely
So for this to be was an unexpected twist of fate
I did not feel that I deserved it.
I had nothing to offer that I knew of
Yet he professed his love for me and
He even brought a dowry to be given as my own.
He paid for me, even more than a bride’s price.
My father was pleased.
And so I thought to love him
I’d been rescued from my sorrows
But this love was not enough
And though I became enamored with the gifts he gave me
My heart yearned for more
For he had brought me to a garden
Of milk and honey and of no want
Where my appetite only grew
I ate and drank and partook of the bounty
I loved and was loved in return
And children were born to us
Yet my heart was not satisfied
And my eyes ever wandered
Seeking more and more
As I listened to my desires
And sought to fill them
The more he gave me
The more I wanted
And so one day I left him
I left the children of our love
To chase after lusts
To satisfy the hunger
To see the sights
To feel the touch of strong hands
And be held in lovers arms
One after the other
Like a bee to flowers nectar
I sought to quench desire
My husband long heartbroken
Had waited for my return
He’d called to me
He’d sought to find me
He even came and paid my needs
When I was unaware
His heart still true to love
Devotion unwavering
Yet I was unmoved
I cannot tell how long
I wandered in my search
From one to another I had run
Each lover taking from me
And then leaving me alone
I never considered husband
Now soiled from being used
Now sold into slavery
Naked and exposed
Scars and abuse apparent
And so I stood
At auction for all to see
Dishonoring and scoffed at
The jeers of the crowd in my ears
As they looked upon my sin
Yet there among them he stood
I saw when chanced a glance
Unbelievably with eyes of love
He called out his bid to purchase
And again he bought my freedom
Once more he took me as his own
Not a slave but as his bride
Bringing me back home
To shelter and his love
No words of accusation
No looks of disdain
Only open arms and tender words
Strength I’d not seen before
Courage unmatched
Steadfast to his covenant
I know not how it is
That love can be so deep
My rebellion understood
My desires undisguised
Yet willing to forgive
Knowing all my sin
And still craving to have me
Withstanding all the shame
Unyielding in his word
And though my heart still wanders
Desires still contend
I cannot say that there could be
A love more worthy of my heart
Would that I could tame this folly
Quench the thirst within
And wholly give myself to him
In complete surrendered abandon
For I know that I am his
And he will never let me go.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Even as a child of God my desires often drive me away from Him.
Yet not only does He understand, He continues to claim me as His own.
He constantly seeks me out and draws me to Himself.
He tells me that this desire was His design, that it was given as a gift, so that my heart would always yearn for Him.
The fall caused it to be misplaced, but because of His love for me He made a way.
The curse that He pronounced made it so that I could never find complete satisfaction in anyone but Him.
And so in that relationship with Him, I must fully give myself.
For if I turn to the side I will be distracted by the love gifts He has given me.
And caught up seeking lesser things.
Life is supposed to be lived in His presence.
Basking in His love.
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