About Me

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Hi I am a Christian, a nurse, the mother of two grown children and two grand daughters, one grandson, and 3 dogs. I love people and have a huge heart. So why am I blogging? Well I've been told that I need to publish my writings. This seemed to be the easiest way to do that. Also, I want to get out there and live life to the fullest. Empty nests are great because now I get to explore the world. I'm starting right here on my computer. So come along with me and as I learn to fly we'll soar together!

Monday, July 28, 2014

I heard a song on the radio this morning.
Christian music can be wonderful or sometimes a bit misleading.
She was singing about how many times that she had asked for her pain to be relieved. Saying that she had asked in a thousand different ways to have the burden lifted, and asking again for Jesus to fix the problem.

All I could think was - He already has.
It's a little strange to me that after all these thousands of years that we've forgotten who Jesus said we are and what He said we were to be.  Of course I'm not laying blame because we all get lost in life and lose sight of the thing most dear.  Hmmmmm. That's a very sad statement.
The song changed and I lost my train of thought until I listened to the Killing Lions 8 video.  These are great and thought provoking as well as comforting and challenging.

Seems that life is a disappointment to most of us. Young men coming of age are asking where life will lead them and why they are not handed the silver spoon that seemed to be promised all through their school years.
Then through the counsel of an older friend they come to the conclusion that this is something they have to pay dues for.  The world does not owe them anything.  Nothing is going to be handed to them.
His conclusion was that he should not let go of his dreams just because it is hard now, but to know that he's in training and it will take time for him to walk into being the man that God created him to be.
Good wisdom.

And I thought about that song this morning.  Aren't we all in training?  Aren't we all supposed to put in the time and work to become the people that God intended for us to be?  For my part I realize that this past few months where it has seemed so dry and desolate in my heart, it's been training.  It's been part of the plan all along.  I must learn to live by faith.  I must.  Else how am I to be His hands and feet, His heart to others?  If I stumble and fall at the first obstacle in my path and give up what does that say of Him?

Didn't he give us the earth to subdue and rule?  And when we gave it away so easily, didn't he come rescue it back for us and give it to us again, along with the example of how to subdue and rule?  I think so.  Life here on this planet is supposed to be under our reign.  Our physical existence is supposed to line up with our spiritual lives.  We were made to be in charge of our lives under His direction.  So far our surrender to the enemy in all his forms has been the norm.

It is time to embrace the training time, time to relish the lessons of becoming leaders and rulers.  Time to step into our roles and become the princes and princesses that He made us to be. 
What else will the world respond to if not the very same - and more - as He said that He Himself did.  When will we raise the dead?  When will we move these mountains that are before us?  When will we restore sight to the blind, set the captives free, and proclaim the year of the Lord is here?
At the end of the song she simply said thank you for being with me through my troubles.
Yes He is with us always.  But I can see him in my mind's eye with his heart broken because we have settled for life to be driving us rather than the other way around.
Open our eyes Jesus.  Open our hearts.  Give us the courage to live as you lived in the fullness of the connection to the Father with power and wisdom and unyielding love.





Friday, April 18, 2014

Something is brewing
I’m a hungry woman
I’ve been self-medicating for years
A lot of us have
It’s like an addict
Or someone with another disorder..
We are low on serotonin and we reach for the easiest available source – food. 
Some reach for other things.  It’s the same situation, we are hungry.
Our brains tell us we need, our bodies tell us we need, our souls cry out that we need.  We are hungry.

We want to be fulfilled.  We are exhausted from giving out and giving and giving.
We have given our bodies to the lives of our families.  Sacrificed our looks, our figures, our sleep, our mental capacities, our nerves.  We have premature gray hair and wrinkles along with our zits and as we nurse our children we long for a relaxing day at the beach or a sauna or in the woods or somewhere that no one is calling out our names demanding yet more of our precious little reserves of energy and patience (if any is left).  But at the same time we cannot stand the idea of being away from those we love. Insanity.

We know deep down that we cannot look to our spouses to fill this in us but out of desperation we still try.
We look to our friends.  We look to our parents, children, clergy, bar tender, doctor, personal trainer, counselor, anyone willing to spend any time on us.

We are hungry women.

I am a hungry woman.

Stacie said it and it’s been brewing in me and marinating and drawing my mind towards some conclusion.
I’m not quite there yet. 

And the obvious answer (which I’m sorry to say sounds contrite and pat and far less than helpful) is that we need God.

Well.  That is the truth. As difficult as it is to swallow, it’s true.
It’s not that simple, yet it’s that easy.
The problem is in how I have taken it in the past. 
I do not like religion.  It is stifling and punishing and degrading and confining to me and my spirit rebels at it in any form. 
I yearn for the intimate relationship that religion has become the imposter of with an Abba God who David could bear his soul with. 
I’ve longed to have no barriers between us, me and my creator.  No veil, no hidden agenda, no working to be good enough, no pretense of being good enough, no denying who I am or who I desire to be.

He is there.  I know it.  I’ve tasted of his love and it is good.   Soooooo good!
My heart knows Him.  We are connected and I have heard his voice whispering to me in the quiet of my soul.

How then can I sit here hungry and numb again?
I do not know.

Jesus draw me deeper.
Fill this voracious appetite of mine with yourself.
I cannot quell it with anything else.
I also cannot deny it any longer.
I am hungry.
I am famished.
I am stuffed full of all the wrong things yet cannot stop reaching for more.
Fill me Jesus.


Isn’t it interesting that our very makeup, our DNA was created in a way as to draw us to, drive us to, urge us to seek to be filled and the only true sating of that desire is Jesus.




Wednesday, January 15, 2014

My love
You are the heart of my heart
I will not let you go
I cannot
You are part of me
You are the expression of who I am
I made you perfectly
You've spent too long in the darkness
Feeling lost and alone
But I was never far
I waited for you to see me
Hear my cries for you
Reach out to take my hand
Come to where you belong
And at last you came
Together we will continue your journey
It will lead you into my arms
I will bring you through the storms
I will protect you
I will heal you
I will provide for you
I am your shelter and strength
And you are not alone
I have such delights planned for us together
I have freedom for your heart
From those old wounds
From the attacks
Freedom to be who I intended you to be
We are on our way
You and I together
I have your heart and I will care for it
I will never leave you
You are mine
And I am yours.