03/17/09

Good morning.

I'm broken and humbled, over and over.

Sometimes I feel like a dog with a muzzle on a tight leash.

Gee whiz Lord!

I gotta laugh out loud at Him and how he handles me.

It is glorious and of course, perfectly as is needed.

You said to forget the past.  I understand that you were talking about forgettingin terms of how it might control my 'now'.

But I can not forget the past, I am not supposed to forget it. I must keep those lessons and allow Him to help me remember what He has taught me from my mistakes and my from the victories.

I do remember it, I just don't live there any more.

He heals the wounds but leaves the scars.  Those are for His purposes, whatever 

He has for me, I keep His lessons close to my heart so as to keep myself humble, loving of others and walking deeply depending on Him knowing how much I can fail.

This is not fear, or wallowing.  This is abiding and allowing what I have

been to be used by Him.

This testimony is what I bring to His feet as a sacrifice.  All of my life, good and bad, sins and victories,  all for His purpose, for His glory and for His 

people to know and understand His love more deeply.

That I have been forgiven for so much has made my love for Him so much greater.

That He desires for His people to know that love as deeply as possible is my 

purpose.

Though I can not identify with those who have not lived as I have, there are a 

vast number of people in His church who are locked into believing that they are 

not worthy.   It is difficult to feel worthy even in light of understanding that they are forgiven, but knowing that there is salvation is a long way from 

understand the full forgiveness that He has given us.  This is His message 

through me to them - you are good enough because Jesus really loves you, all of 

you, just as you are.  This was His  message to me.  His love, His great love for me, regardless of who I was/am.

 That He purchased me with His blood and paid for my sin - is sometimes such an 

abstract concept for many.  It does not always impact where we live right now.  

Because of this, and because there are people like me that need to understand how He abolished those sins, theirs and my past, and blotted out the distance 

between them/me and God - I give myself; to be transparent for them so that He 

can love them through me, identified with my life, and seeing how He has given 

His love so freely to me.  If I, even I, am 'good enough' for God to love me so 

much, then surely He can love them.  His love is bigger than anything that I have ever done, ever been, and ever could be.

Then there is room for understanding that it is not my being 'good enough'

that was the point, but that His love - the Father's love for Him - was the 

impetus for this great salvation.  We being purchased by Christ are being 

transformed and given to Him as a gift of love from the Father to be

His bride.  We are being remade into that great love.