Dear
Lord
Ok
I do have desires
And
You said that if I delight in You that You would give me the desires of my
heart.
I
do delight in you my Lord. I love You
and I want more of You.
Up
till reciently I have not acknowledged that I even have desires.
But
You woke me up.
You
put my heart back together
You
are working on my complete healing
So
even though I already made a list, I can’t remember where I put it so I’m gonna
put it down here again
Mostly
for me. I know that You already know all
this. But I’ve got to have it so I can
look back and say, yup that’s on the list.
Or nope, that person does not fit...
I
hope that’s not presumptive of me. If it
is I ask for endulgence. This is new to
me as You know.
And
some of the stuff that was on my list You have already taken care of. I’m gonna put them down here anyway just as a
reminder that You are faithful to Your promises.
So
here it is:
For
my life and to be ready I need these things:
My
kids taken care of, on their own, not in a place where I’m the one that they
depend on. (done)
My
parents taken care of, not in a place where I’m the one that they depend
on. (partially done)
My
physical appearance is where I’m happy with it. (not perfect but weight down
and not so old looking. Lots of progress
on this is done.)
My
animals gone, down to one or two only.
(simi done, lost Gracie but gained LB!)
Financially
stable (done but tenuous in the economy)
For
what I want in my husband:
Has
been Yours for as long as I have, and mature in his relationship with You. Not religious, but in love with You.
I
have known him for a long time. (this is
a matter of trust and I’m not sure if it should be here, but it was part of my
original ‘list’ in my mind so I’ll leave it for now)
He’s
been married before & is either biblically divorced or widowed & has
been single for at least 5 years. (I need to know that he’s been there &
understands, & that he’s able to commit, & not on the rebound)
He’s
financially stable.
He
will love dogs and not mind that they sleep with me.
I
want a viking – a tall well built man that makes me feel little petite and very
feminine.
He
will love music and maybe be able to play an instrument, but definitely have a
good voice and can sing. (someone that sings and worships You with his music)
He
will look at me with Jesus eyes.
He
does NOT look like my grandpa.
He
will be very attracted to me but very patient and understanding about my past,
and I’ll find him very attractive too.
He
will be honorable and upright and a person of integrity.
He
will not require me to be a neat freak.
He
will know how to communicate and know his feelings.
He
will accept me for who I am. (could
there be someone out there that will not see a fat lady when they look at me?)
Ok
I guess that’s enough for now. I’m sure that there’s more.
Ok
now I’m feeling down.
Between
the news and the lack of self control in my diet I’m discouraged.
Oh
Lord save me from myself.
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