02/21/11 SIGH

There is a place between waking and sleep where all the cares are stripped away and clarity comes to the mind.  Somehow at this moment the intersection of heart soul spirit and mind come together and there is sight beyond sight as one drifts off to the dream state.  It is here where natural creativity explodes with ideas, pictures, songs, prose, inventions, answers to the complex questions of life.  It is where one becomes – just for that moment – exactly what they were created to be.  In this unhindered state of wholeness for the child of God it is communion with Him and a knowing that is far past mental ascent, but reaches down to the depth of their being where they never go.  It is the oneness with the Creator of acceptance and fulfillment that is just outside of reach in our conscious state. 

Once in a while something drops in.  A Truth comes and in a nanosecond clarity is revealed as we find our self in the presence of God Almighty without judgment, but with a pure embracing union.  It’s like that moment between waking and sleep.  Just beyond our reach in our normal conscious state but in that moment with God our eyes are opened.

A heart open to Love will go there. 

A will submitted through the doorway of love allows ones self to step out of the way in order to be open to His presence.

There is no formula.  But for me, it was letting go and giving up and releasing the struggle. 

It was between the place where I came to the end of myself, but before that inevitable plunge into despair – just like the twilight moment before sleep takes me – that I relaxed. 

And He made His presence known to me. 

And the world shifted. 

And the scriptures became unclouded. 

And the bond between me and my Father, Christ, and the Holy Spirit strengthened. 

And Love took over.

I find myself just on the edge of it – with the sense of His presence with me, like a wonderful aroma that lingers after an embrace.  He is here. 

Some part of me begins to fear that my senses will again become clouded and I will lose His presence and there is an urge to press in and hang on.  But He simply lets me know that all I need to do is rest in Him.  All of the alone time – if that was the cost, it is worth every second to be paid for this treasured oneness with Him.  I breath Him in and open my soul to His love.  This is all I have ever longed for.  This is what I was made for.  This has been His desire for me all along.  Such satisfaction and comfort and security is not available outside of Him and the love that He is. 

Although I would linger in an effort to bask in His presence I know that is not necessary. 

There’s nothing to be done to keep Him, for He is there. 

He is always there with me in everything.

Looking at the hearts of others and watching their lives unfold I can see His hand moving – through them – as they go about being who they were created to be. 

It’s not in the struggle to become. 

It’s not in the chasing after desires. 

It’s not in the busyness of control and works. 

It’s not in the striving at all. 

It’s in the release.

It’s in the submission.

It’s in giving up and letting go without an alternate plan of manipulation in the back of my mind.

It is yielding and relaxing.

And I find myself accepted.

I find myself beautiful.

I find myself embraced.

And I see everything else through the lens of knowing that I am who He made me to be, not a project that is incomplete or unsatisfactory.

And my desires realign like the tumblers in a lock, they fall into place and the gate of my need is opened.  And here He steps in where I dared not allow even myself to go.

And He begins to shine from inside that dark place where I was lost.

My eyes open to the glorious being that He planned for me, and I see the world through His eyes.