09/21/10 God is a gentleman He will not interfere in our decisions.

Choice.

That is His gift and a curse on us, for we are full of folly. 

We are stubborn willful ignorant and prideful wretches that over and over choose only to feed our own idolatrous selves. 

Whoa is me, who looks into the face of a merciful God and denies His existence. 

Whoa is me who turns away from the beauty of that Holy face to follow after vain and empty desires. 

What part of life has He not provided for?  What deep longing of the soul has He not made provision for? 

What careless hope or fleeting wish has He not created for us in our world? 

All that is made has been given to us and we have tossed it aside as garbage in pursuit of some notion of greater provision that we might create ourselves. 

The depth of our depravity is endless.  Dark are our souls and all our reckless demands and imaginations. 

He who set the world on it’s axis and hung the moon and stars in the heavens has humbled Himself to but open our eyes to Him. 

We are universally wicked in all our ways.

We seek for distraction and to numb ourselves in thoughtless illusion so as not to face the corruption deep in our souls. 

Yet we cannot hide. 

We all know. 

There is no escape from it.

Despaire!

Deep agonizing despair clings to our souls as we run to hide from our evil and our lack.

There is no answer to our condition.

But wait.

Wait.

There is perhaps a way.

No how could He allow it?

Why would there be any reason for Him to do anything for such as me?

My heart cannot begin to dream of that kind of all consuming love and compassion.

Is there forgiveness even now?

Is there a love that deep?

Can He possibly understand the ugliness within me?

And if He did would He still love me?

I sit and look at an artist’s rendition of the transfigured Christ. 

Pitiful representation that it is, there is such beauty that it is mesmerizing. 

The God of creation there in His Glory having put on the filth of my loathsomeness and taken hold of my debt standing radiant face to the Father. 

He loves. 

He understands. 

He knows. 

He is love.

I am in awe of this sacrifice.

I know my propensity for sin.

I know my arrogance.

And yet He loves me.

It is beyond my comprehension.

Yet I believe.

All I can say is that I believe.

And I know that even belief does not come from within me.

I do not know why He would desire me.

But I am His.