I
had the most amazing day yesterday.
For
the first time in my Christian walk I met Abba Father God.
I
never knew Him as “Daddy” before. He has
been provider and Lord and God and Almighty to me but yesterday instead of just
being in awe and worshiping Him for who He is, which is totally appropriate, I
found Him with His arms open to me and like a little child I ran to them and I
felt Him wrap those loving arms around me.
The
dad concept has been the most difficult for me to realize in my Father in
heaven so this was a real epiphany for me.
The
relationship I have had with my Sovereign has been just that, He was my
Sovereign.
This
does not take away from that. But it
opens my understanding of who He is in such a deeper way.
I
am knowing His love for me better and better each day.
It
takes death to bring life.
The
death of my dad left a void in my life.
He
was my go to guy when I was down.
For
the past 28 years being without my husband left only my dad to be the ‘man in
my life’.
And
he was always on my side no matter what.
He
was harsh at times but I always, always knew that he loved me.
There
was much grace in our relationship so that in spite of our mistakes in life and
the fact that we are and were sinners made that grace possible and all the
sweeter.
I
knew that God was the author of that grace and without His love for me I could
not have walked in it.
When
daddy got his life right before God the whole world was better.
And
even though he was still a sinner like everyone else, his stature grew in my
eyes and he was the daddy that I needed.
It
saddens me that that time only lasted for a few years before he got sick.
Having
to have the tables turned over the past few years where I had to become the
caretaker and he by necessity had to relinquish control of his life was a
difficult task for both of us.
However
it helped ease me into the place where losing him would not be so
difficult. It would not be devastating
like it was for me in my divorce.
His
departure though painful was for my life part of the process of drawing me
closer to my Heavenly Father.
With
his death all of my support had been removed and though for a time I flailed
like a fish out of water, I found that where my feet were, and have been, on
the Rock of Ages, is the best place to be.
That depending on Him is what I have and all I have in life.
It
is enough. It is so much more than
enough.
But
of late He has drawn me in ways that I have not known before.
He
has opened my understanding of who He is on multiple levels and shown me layers
of His being.
I
find myself so fascinated with my God that I can hardly think of anything else
at times.
Wondrous
Mercy, Awesome Omnipotence, Reigning in Righteousness, Holy beyond earthly
awareness, Lover of my soul.
The
attributes of His nature unfolding before me makes me just shake my head in
wonder at His love for me.
But
this, this facet of His being was so far from my comprehension and ability to
realize until now –it was a foreign language I had heard others speak but did
not understand.
I
weep with the joy of this discovery, this revelation, this unsurpassing
greatness of His being which He has opened up to me.
And
so Abba opened His arms and beckoned me to come to Him. And I ran to His loving arms and knew –
really knew – for the first time that my Father in heaven is Daddy-Abba who
loves me. And that I am His child
forever.
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