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Hi I am a Christian, a nurse, the mother of two grown children and two grand daughters, one grandson, and 3 dogs. I love people and have a huge heart. So why am I blogging? Well I've been told that I need to publish my writings. This seemed to be the easiest way to do that. Also, I want to get out there and live life to the fullest. Empty nests are great because now I get to explore the world. I'm starting right here on my computer. So come along with me and as I learn to fly we'll soar together!

Thursday, February 9, 2012

08/07/09 just now


Often - time simply slips by without my being aware of it.  Time is spent, spent as a commodity, spent on what is most important in one’s life.  I think of Martha and Mary and the Lord saying that Mary has chosen the better way to spend her time.  I must go to work and I must take care of the things that are needful for survival and therefore I spend my time doing so. 

Lately I have no appetite for it though.  I yearn to spend time with my Lord, in His company and presence.  I long for walks with Him and talking and just being with Him.  I cannot get enough time with my Love.  When I wake up in the morning He is the first thing on my mind and all throughout the day I dream of Him.  At night when I lay down to sleep I meditate on Him and how it will one day be when I see Him face to face.  For now things are simply mundane and full of the everyday tasks to be done.  But He is ever in my mind and a constant presence in my heart.

Sometimes I have a song for Him and it is joyful and full of worship.  Other times I must express how He loves me in words.  Just now there is a quietness that is void of description, but He is here and with me and in every breath I take.  It is not always those mountaintop volcanic eruptions that are required to focus me in on Him.  Sometimes it is in the stillness of sitting quietly just breathing in His presence that I find Him ever so close and attentive to my heart.  In depths of despair He is there to comfort me outside of feelings and emotions.  But just now, just now I simply rest in Him and know that He walks with me and sits with me and as I focus on His beauty He drinks in the worship of it.  I stand and sit and kneel in Him.  And with Him I walk.

Be still and know that I am God

In the stillness of that knowing there is such peace and awe and wonder at the vast love that He is.  I am tempted to become intoxicated with it  I am drawn into His presence like a moth to at flame.  His delight in me causes me to swoon with the emotion of it.  Yet I am quiet and I contemplate who He is again in awe and wonder at that great love.  Today is a day to be sober and to reflect and to meditate.  Explosions will come later, but just now we walk in His garden together as one - delighting in one another.

Ah this love is so much more than emotion.
It is eternity.

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