Freedom

A friend wrote on his blog:

"I suspect that what really has me bugged right now is that the direction freedom follows aims toward love. Talk about unknown territory... maybe it's time to panic again."

... and I'm wondering if that's more universal than any of us would believe.  I mean, to be seen, really seen for who we are, and loved, really loved.  Yeah, that's kind of terrifying isn't it?  I so get the need for panic.

Yet that's just what our Father offers, desires, seeks after.  Intimacy is so very risky.  All of the 'what if's' come bubbling to the surface along with the arrow lies of inadequacy and imperfection.  

Who is to say that it is better to open one's self up versus staying in the safety of the cave we've all hidden in?  Oh you may have a different name for it, or no name at all, but we've all hidden our true selves.  Don't you long to get out like me?  

Freedom 

That's a word that evokes a deep breathing peace in me.  It feels like a home I've never known but long for. And then deeper is an uneasiness that is reminiscent of those dreams of standing in public buck naked....  

Yet I cannot shake the desire that has been awakened.  I've had a taste of it and I cannot live without it any more.

Freedom 

It means to me, something more than democratic social 'ism's' and laws pro or con.  It means that the doors are open giving me access to quench longing.  It means the barriers are taken down that have kept me from realizing who I am and what I am here for.  It means that I have the potential to be real and honest and open and accepted for who God made me to be.  It means no more lies, to myself or others.  It means love.

Like my friend said above, freedom aims toward love.  Toward God. hmmm how many names is He?

This yearning and longing that He has drawn out of the depth of my being has ignited the passion to allow me to dare seek it.  The door has been opened and all I can do - albeit timidly perhaps - is step through.

There is no turning back.

What lies behind is darkness and prison and fear and pain.

What lies ahead may well hold pain, may needs pass through more darkness, out of another prison, and hopefully will bring some courage to face these without fear.  It absolutely offers companionship which in itself is another freedom.  But it also divides.  I am not the same and it seems that I am traveling down a road that leaves others dear to me behind.  Yet I cannot turn back.

Freedom, I worship You.  Love is your name. Jesus is your face and hands.