another day

Woke up today, another regular Tuesday had my coffee and got ready for work.  Checked my FB and replied to some messages.  Seems life is hard for lots of folks.  I try to encourage them hoping my words are not hollow or distant.  I am one person here living and loving the best way I know how.  Going down my driveway in the dark I see a deer crossing the grass at the end near the road.  It’s foggy this morning, not too bad but the moon and stars that were so clear and beautiful yesterday are obscured by the mist and clouds of haze moving past.  It’s strange to get up in the dark to go to work but ipso facto, it is what it is.  I’m a work-a-day gal still looking forward to a day when I can say I’m retired and do ? idk what will come next.  This presents a restlessness in my soul.  I believe one must have dreams and goals and something to look forward to, but somehow retirement with the ‘nothingness’ it appears to hold does not appeal to me right now.  I had thought to do mission work, but if I do not lose a lot of weight then that is out of the question, not to mention the financial obligations.  What part of the ‘golden years’ is golden if I can’t afford to do anything but sit and wait to die?  That does not sound like fun to me at all.  Yet I’m weary of getting up in the dark and spending my days pretending to try and accomplish the company goals as set forth in their rule book.  Call me a rebel, but I doubt that the mission is to make others happy.  Sure it sounds good and looks great on paper, but we’re all here to make money so that we can live our lives.  Part of me hates that game.  But I must comply.  Life is an endless series of compromises.  I’d have loved to sleep until the sun came up today.  My puppy is hurt and she wants me to sit still so that I can comfort her.  It’s stormy out and they don’t like to be alone, my dogs. 

I’m in pursuit of God and what He has for me.  Part of that pursuit is to be who he made me to be.  I believe that it gives him the most pleasure to see me be all that he dreamed of when he created me.   And even though it seems that examining myself is a bit egotistic I think I must.  If I am not true to myself then what?  If I can’t discover the best me and share what has been given me then what?  What good am I here?  So morning after dark morning I rise, have my coffee in the quiet of my home, take care of my dogs and drive to work alone.  I share my heart on the World Wide Web for whosoever will read my offerings.  I call to comfort and show my love to those in my world in need, give what I have when I can, and wait. 

Some would ask, is this all there is?  And I have asked that myself – but that was before my heart opened to the limitlessness of God’s love.  I’m inclined to ask now if this is all I can give.  It seems that my circle is too small and concentrated.  But you’d have to ask them about that.  If words were weighed in gold and heartfelt communication worthy of treasure I am deeply blessed with a fortune.  My hope is that it matters.  That lives are impacted and other hearts too can be opened to the limitless love of God.

Look the sun is rising and another dawn appears. 

God is in His heaven painting for me again.

Another masterpiece of color and radiance

Showing His glory for all who would, to see.

Lift up your eyes to the hills where redemption comes.

He is awesome in His power and wondrous in creation.

For all that He has done speaks of His beauty.

Drawing whosoever will to come.

Joy comes in the morning and love endures forever.


.....and there are days of thunderous passion, and there are days of calm breezes, and there are days where there is no air that moves, no sound made, no whisper of hope from anywhere but within my own secure heart.  That's where God's voice resides...and it is good.