An
abandoned and forgotten child is—absent extraordinary healing—forever an
abandoned and forgotten child. It leaves one to be
torn apart at the level of the soul by the abrupt severing, without
explanation, of a father-child bond, and to be shredded
by the haunting suspicion that one is unworthy and unlovable. It sets the stage for a decades-long search for enough fame and
adulation to fill the emotional black hole inside you that keeps threatening to
make you disappear into it.
[paraphrased from Ed Tandy McGlasson's Huddle up of 10/24/12. and... Dr. Keith Ablow recently published an article on the
subject ]
..."hollowness inside that man, born of being a forgotten boy—that black hole and the threat of complete psychological disintegration" ...
…he
allegedly spent decades injecting himself with male hormones, as if to be male
enough to be a worthy son, rather than forgotten one.
You see,
to truly Livestrong after being injured catastrophically as a boy by
abandonment requires looking at your pain, sitting with it, really feeling
it, not trying to outdistance it—which is impossible and a race to oblivion.
It requires realizing that you were always lovable even if you were
unloved, and that false fame and a Superman-lean frame will only separate you
from that healing reality, which many people correctly call God.
He was talking about Lance Armstrong, but this is a picture of all children without a parent, particularly a father. And in spite of anyone else stepping in to 'fill the role' it does not erase these bleak deficient feelings in a young heart.
From McGlasson:
Dr. Keith’s words are a powerful
reminder of what happens when little boys and girls are born ‘forgotten’. To
live-strong after you've been father-wronged requires a miracle within the
human heart. Those types of wounds are only healed by the power of God’s love.
Ransomed Heart ministries has a book "Fathered by God" that I highly recommend to everyone.
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