Who is Jeanne: manipulation vs truth

I don’t know how lessons are learned by one and in the same situation another remains clueless.

I do know that until I was almost 58 years old I was driven by my heart but blindly without any understanding. The need for love was always behind all of my actions and intentions. Somehow in all of the struggles of my life and for reasons I will never understand I was chosen. This was my greatest gift: God loves me: I am whole: I am His.

Choices we make come from how we have learned to deal with life.

Everyone has a life.

Everyone learns by trial and error what works and what does not work in order to survive.

Survival is our instinct and what drives us.

But underneath that is more.

Sometimes it’s a desire to control.

Sometimes it’s a desire to satiate our appetites.

But behind and under all of that it is our heart that is lost and lonely and in need of love. And when our hearts cry loud enough that we hear them then we know that is what we need - love.

We all need love.

More basic than food and drink and air – we need love.

We cannot live without it.

And what I have learned is that people are driven by a desire for love – that motivates every action thought and intent in all of our lives.

Some people are very twisted because of the lens of their lives.

Others are unconscious because of that lens needing clarity but the heart still drives them.

And others are so muddled by the life they’ve lived that clarity is the furthest thing in their lives.

For these, confusion reigns and only basic physical needs drive actions and deeds.

Some people seem not to even have a heart and live outside of that realm completely.

These people end up being killers and zombies. They are driven by base lustful ever increasing urges, and are disconnected completely from anyone else. Fortunately for us all these are few –. I cannot even imagine what could cause this and I have not enough words to express the horror of what it must be like.

Then there are people who, for one reason or another, cannot connect to their hearts. These are the saddest on earth. They are at some level aware of it yet are unable to reach in. And in my opinion these people make up the majority of who lives on the planet.

At some point in their lives they learn to cope with whatever situation they find themselves in by avoiding the hearts desires because of fear anxiety need and pain and instead move through life from a place of trying to feed that need. They have never come to the truth of knowing that it is the heart that matters most. For these people life is not ever satisfying and there is no contentment. God is only a concept to them. Religion is only something else to be used in their arsenal of weapons against the inevitable pain of life.

It is not enough to love a child. One must teach them to trust their heart and instill within that heart the courage to do so. This is the most basic and most vital duty of a parent. Unfortunately we are all broken and most of us do not know even for ourselves how to do that.

We’ve been raised by imperfect people with coping patterns that come from pain fear anger and unquenched desires. So that is what we learn, and that is what we have passed on to generation after generation. And now the idea of living from the heart is so foreign to most of us that it’s almost laughable. God and truth are subjective and the human heart has been shoved into the proverbial closet.

All of this is my own thinking. But as of late I’ve learned to listen to my heart and I am seeing truth and my heart is soaking it in – wherever it may be, however it comes to me – truth is love and it knows its home here. Not that I am expert or all knowing. On the contrary, I do my best ‘work’ when my brain and other senses are disengaged.

Manipulation is a lie. It is the opposite of truth and love. It is selfish and it is destructive.

Recently I found myself in a windstorm of someone’s manipulative efforts to obtain what they perceived to be their need. I found myself reacting to the situation getting angry and frustrated and irritated. Of course I was feeling ill at the time as well – which is another subject matter all together. But as I discussed the situation with another heart person I realized what was going on. I realized that for the manipulator it’s normal to stir the shit to generate the stink to make everyone off balance so that they can extract what they desire in the situation. I also realized that in the middle of these windstorms amidst the stink and the confusion I do not need my sense organs, no eyes, no ears, and no smell to know what to trust, how to act, or what to do. I only need to trust my heart. It is connected to God through love and it is sure.

And that is a truth worth knowing. One of those Ah-HA moments in life that are tags on the map you can count as a ‘true north’ to guide you when the next storm hits. (And there will be many storms)

But it made me think about those others who are not connected, have no idea that their heart is the issue at hand in life.

And now I am recognizing the traits in some people around me. In a young girl determined to get her own way because she prefers to hide (not knowing that her heart is screaming out to be loved and she does not understand that need yet). In a young woman in so much pain that avoiding it has led her to believe that being mentally ill is preferable to facing her need (taught by life experiences that real love does not exist and doubting her need in spite of the demands she feels). In another young woman so hungry for love that she will give herself away to any willing person and use up any resource identifiable in life to try to satiate that appetite (again not knowing that it is her heart that is screaming out to be loved). And in an old woman who has lived her life in a fantasy because reality was never enough, having to hide from what was too painful a lesson at too early an age to ever dare to even consider seeking understanding of a heart so buried within the fortress of protection. She has lived using up people. She has lived never feeling love. She has lived in self imposed exile from her own heart because of fear of the pain it holds. She is not and has never been happy. She has known no joy. She cannot connect with another heart. She is so very lonely. And she chooses to remain this way.

On one hand I am deeply saddened at her life. On the other hand I am thankful for this old woman and her distant heart because it painted a brutally clear picture of what I never wanted in my life. It caused me to do the opposite of what I saw her do. It was as if the map had a huge sign saying DO NOT ENTER HERE, THIS IS THE WAY OF DESPAIR. And even though my life path was similar to hers I heeded that sign.

Of course there was a time I rebelled and I acted in anger and I tried to be heartless because of the pain wrought upon my heart. But in the end I choose not to use those tools, not to manipulate, not to stir the shit or cause windstorms. I am no wiser than any other yet God has put within my heart an understanding that this is not the way. I am so very grateful. I am so humbled. I am so thankful.

You see we must connect. We must give our hearts their way or all is lost.

God stood as Satin convinced Eve and Eve convinced Adam and Adam chose to believe that His heart was not good. And the connection was lost.

But.

And always with God there is a BUT!

He had already figured this in to the equation of human existence.

And because His heart IS good and love does rule Him, He had a way to reconnect with us.

A way for whosoever will to come back to Him.

And it’s not by self satisfying manipulative actions stirring up and distracting.

It is by opening and connecting with Him to find that love each heart was meant to have, each heart requires above all else, each life cannot be without.

Love, Truth, God, Jesus all are One.

Live from your heart connection to that Love.