I’ve never been here before
I’m feeling my way
Not quite sure if it’s darkness or fog
Trying to hold on to my heart and the dreams
Trying to hold on to the connection
Is it supposed to be this hard?
Am I making it more than I should?
Or am I sabotaging myself with riddles
Trying to give me a way out if, yet again, I fail….
Is it supposed to be this hard?
Am I supposed to feel the beauty of love all the time
Or is that a sometimes thing in between the rest
Which is always just hard work.
And I'm so very lazy.
Are my motives going to betray me
Take my chance for happiness away
Because that desire is so deep?
Does that desire supersede my love for you Lord?
Can my desire be so deep that it overrules?
“To thine own self be true”
Ok. But how do I know?
Denying myself has always been my option
Because in the end I don’t believe I can have it
And doesn’t that mean that in the end I don’t believe?
Doesn’t that mean that I am disqualified?
How can I turn my heart around and bring it there?
Where is the place where honesty truth and love collide?
Can I possibly live all of these together?
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